Am I the slowest writer in the world?

Yes.

I probably am.

And I have the receipts to make that claim but thankfully I also have too much of a sense of shame to share them with you.

Either way, today as we officially enter the era of Trump *shudders*, I thought I should probably get off my behind and let you all know what I’ve been doing instead of updating DYRM 🙂

  1. Being a Mom and (believe me I use this term very loosely as I am extremely bad at it) a house wife. My baby has become a little person of 3 going on 4 full of observations and questions, not all of which I’m even qualified to answer. I have learned to sometimes just say, “yeah, I really don’t know” and I think (hope) she respects that?  She has strong ideas and an independent mindset which means she never accepts anything I tell her at face value and has sometimes in fact re-educated me. She’s so cool, I don’t even know where she comes from. Anyway, there’s that.
  2. Traffic. That’s right, traffic. This is where I spend a good portion of my week. When I’m not suppressing rage, this is also when I get some of my best ideas that I will never remember after I get where I’m going. My other places my best ideas come to me include respectively – on the toilet, in the shower, standing in line at supermarkets and just before I fall asleep.
  3. Kpop Twitter. I am actually afraid to say how much time I spend here because it could probably get me committed but on the plus side I can answer almost any question you have on KPop; what it is, how to pronounce Psy (it’s Sah -y), What is Gangnam Style exactly, what is a G Dragon – let me be your Kpop friend!
  4. Writing! Ah ha! Bet you thought this wouldn’t be on the list! Understandable considering I haven’t been updating. But I have been writing, just not for myself. I’ve been writing for television which is something I used to do fairly often before I struck out on my own and started this blog. I do it to pay bills but also because it’s a bit of a challenge adapting my style to working with other writers in a team and also just working in the area of the Nigerian TV story. I can’t tell you much about it right now except that what I’m working on is a new show for a Cable network. It’s only just being casted so production hasn’t even started. I’ll spill once it starts to air!
  5. Thinking deeply about the goals I want to accomplish as a writer. Who do I want to be? What do I want to write? Who am I writing for? What characters and stories resonate with me the most? And for my current personal project, DYRM, where I want it to go.
  6. Reading. Always reading. Forever reading. On wattpad, on webtoons, from my packed iBooks library, from manga repositories, on Asian Fanfics and an Archive of our Own, the story consumption pauses but never, ever, quite stops. I’ve always said that before a writer, I am a bookworm.

And that’s the majority of it. But none of it changes the fact that I am a very, very, very slow writer and I am awfully sorry for it.

Thanks for your patience so far and I really hope to be picking up where we left off sooner rather than later.

 

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Sorry for the Radio Silence…

I keep dragging this Radio/Broadcast metaphor, don’t I? Will I ever get tired of it? Who even knows?! Ah ha ha -ahem. Anyways.

Apologies for the sudden silence. Summer Holidays struck and (me being the blue chip Mom that I am) took me completely by surprise so I’m still reeling from having all the energy my daughter usually expends at school suddenly redirected towards me!

The first edition of the newsletter, The Indigo Radio Broadcast Club is currently in the works! It’s gonna contain the Finale of my channel 1 broadcast: I Am Abiku! I’m taking my time because I want it to be good and I mean to start off well.

In other news, there is now a Whatsapp version of the Broadcast Club on which I am airing channel 2’s series #DYRM. We are currently on episode 3 but will soon be caught up with – ah – the semi regular broadcast schedule of every Thursday. 

This is a special broadcast for me because you can only get on the list if I have your number and you get the episodes as messages from me and can respond directly to me about each one!! So personal!!!! 

If this is an arrangement you like you can always pop me a mail at indigoradiofm@gmail.com and I’ll go ahead and add you. I can assure you I will not be using your number for anything else as I am an introverted hermit.
I will also be opening up a new category on the blog called “Sessions” that will be about sharing the work of fellow online writers I admire.

But first – Summer School!!!

Hope you’re all having a great one. Enjoy this gorgeous summer bop from the continuously amazing Wonder Girls 🌞🌴🌴😁👯👯😁🌴🌴🌞

Indigo Radio xx

F2FU 3

“Coffee, Sugar & Kpop”

I work in the Branding and Marketing Department of a mid-sized but somewhat high profile investment and holdings firm.  When I got the position a year ago on a recommendation by a friend, my job description read: responsibilities included but not limited to working directly beneath Content Director in the capacity of an executive assistant, liaising with PR department, in-house media department and retained Advertising Firm, Internet research, Social Media management and minor desktop publishing.

As most young professionals do I soon found out that all of the above was wash and my true and actual responsibility was to take the fall whenever things went wrong – which they did with nothing short of miraculous consistency.

As a rule, I kept my office Blackberry switched off till I actually reached the office for my own peace of mind. It was a big no no but I just fell back on the trusty and true bad network excuse (it’s network O! It’s network! Chai! This country won’t kill me!) that no one can really argue with and kept my commute sacred.

On getting to work, I never so much as approached my shared corner desk without a fortifying mug of coffee and a high sucrose snack because without fail there would be, waiting for me in my inbox, a clusterfuck of biblical proportions in the form of a mile long email thread, each additional message in which the entire exec board had been CC’d, more surreal than the last.

I’ve found from experience that daily disasters are so much more manageable when one is immersed in a haze of caffeine, sugar and, if possible,  Korean Pop music.

Plugged into my Kpop playlist (filled with my blessed faves Big Bang, 2NE1 and my newest faves iKON) I would quickly settle into the task of abasing myself to all those who required abasement and making commitments I would most likely never be able to keep because they required skill sets far outside my own, including but not limited to the ability to perform works and miracles.

I could do this because as a one year veteran in the corporate jungle, the single most important survival skill I have picked up is the understanding that there is nothing so important as the appearance of doing something.

But even with this almighty formula in my armory, I probably wouldn’t have lasted long. My position had the highest turn over rate in the entire company after that of our CEO’s PAs. Those poor souls burned out like cheap candles on a regular basis.

My real secret weapon was the friend who had recommended me and who also happened to be the HOD of the Media department. Yup. Score one for Gigi!

Her name was Akudo and she’d also been my senior in secondary school. The funny thing is back then, we’d had nothing to do with each other because we’d moved in different social circles. But somehow, after meeting again at a mutual friend’s party some years back, we’d become good friends.

Akudo came from a wealthy, old family and I still remembered her clearly as a confident and popular senior. Apparently that trend continued into her professional life. At our firm, thanks to the contacts her family had, She. Was. Untouchable; a golden child that could do no wrong, and even though I didn’t work directly under her, everyone knew she’d brought me in and I was her personal person.

Therefore, no matter how much crap I got mired in, I came out sparkly clean at the other end courtesy of Akudo. I was literally the perfect scape goat because thanks to her, I was immortal. Eventually whatever debacle had occurred would blow over (or be replaced by an uglier mess in a different department) and everyone’s memory of it would reset to zero. This was how I was surviving.

This particular day, however, I started my morning a little stressed out because I woke up with the memory of my visit to Nytrogen and realized I had booked myself in for a scintillating round of the waiting game.

How could I have left that club without even getting his freaking name? How on earth was I supposed to internet screen him now? And I couldn’t rely on Maminat to ID him because… wait, or could I? She was only a space cadet with things that didn’t directly relate to her interests but once it was engaged, her mind could become scary focused…

I pondered my dilemma while scrolling through that morning’s clusterfuck which involved the non-realization of a small International Finance Conference that our firm was supposed to be the principal host for. The company calendar showed it was supposed to have started today. Speakers had been flown in from overseas and this email thread was my first official notification of the event.

Embassies would have to be called and new A-holes would have to be ripped but to be honest, and I know this sounds jaded, but i’d seen worse. Like that time the landing page of our website featured scrolling News headlines about our company and one particularly large fonted one calling our CEO a Thief and a Pervert just happened to be the one that greeted visitors to the page for almost a week before anyone noticed… my immortal goat status was really tested that time…

I answered emails on automatic pilot while still struggling with my problem and finally decided it was best to ask and know for sure that Maminat couldn’t identify him so I would be able to move on to other lines of investigation. I fired off a hopeful DM in her direction.

Foluso, my desk mate, watched me with suspicion.

“Um – sis Bolaji, why do you look like you’re working? Please, stop, it’s somehow.”

I sighed, “Don’t mind me, I’m not really here now…”

Foluso and I had bonded over time as table mates and fellow sacrificial livestock. It occurred to me that he might have information that could help me in today’s round of abasement. “Come,” I addressed him, “d’you know anything about a conference?”

Foluso snorted turning back to his screen where he was posting a Yoruba Devil selfie on his FB, “Which dirty conference?” he said with disgust clear in every syllable. “Something that was pulled out of Mr. Gani’s ass during Self- Evaluation circle so that he wouldn’t look like all he’s done since he joined this company is develop jowls.”

Eeesh…

The cogs of my brain started to turn, slowly at first but then, after beginning to receive their load of caffeine and sugar, picking up steam. A vague memory of our last Team Building Seminar at La Campagne Tropicana took shape. “Oh, yeah….” I frowned, “Ahn – ah, but we knew he was just talking… he sef was laughing!”

“Yes, well, MD’s PA circa that period apparently was not informed about our house rule of thumb: Anything that happens in a Retreat stays in the Retreat. He went and updated our Commander in Chief’s calendar. Apparently CEO was looking so forward to it that he contacted the proposed speakers himself.”

Shit.” I said realizing the gravity of a situation that so involved our boss’ ego.

“Exactly.” Foluso said dolefully. “Our Directors and managers all showed up on time today. My dear, if you want my opinion, now is a good time to start updating your Linked In.”

I rolled my eyes because Foluso thought everyday was a good time to update your Linked-In. But considering the situation, after a quick glance around that assured me that everyone was keeping their head down that morning, I shifted my email program aside and opened up my Linked-In profile page.

A text came back from Maminat just then. It read simply, “Who?”

…  so much for that….

***

FYI: All the chapters for this story can be found HERE on Channel Two with the most recent chapter at the top.

There should have been a post today –

And I’m real sorry that there wasn’t! I’ve had to push forward the next instalment for #dyrm because I’m helping plan an event this week and it’s ended up taking up way more of my time than I expected it to 😦

Expect news of a posting schedule for both stories by next week as well as some light restructuring of the blog to make it easier to navigate!

Thank you so much for putting up with me while I try to get this right.

Your humbled writer,

Indigo Radio
Ps. As a way of saying sorry how about some lovely KPop? These teenage siblings are called Akdong Musician or AkMu for short and their genre is funk/jazz/folk.

They just released a half album (don’t ask I still don’t know) called “Spring” which is actually literally a breath of fresh air.

I like to use their title track “How People Move” to get me going on extra tough mornings.

Kpop

I’m just going to get it out of the way right now.

One of the first things you should probably know about me, before anything else like why I write or my fave genres or what I’m reading or watching, etc, is that I’m a little obsessed with Korean Pop music. And it’s not a phase because this has been going on for almost 6 years now. In fact in the interest of full disclosure you should know I ran a blog about Korean Pop music before I started this one and the only reason I stopped some years back was because I became too biased towards certain groups and became unable to comment objectively on the scene.

I’m telling you now so you won’t be surprised when Kpop – er – pops up in my posts. Because it will. And frequently. It will even feature in the story broadcasting on Channel 2 #doyourememberme.

Now that you know, you won’t be hit with confusion or disorientation when I suddenly start talking about why I believe Kwon Jiyong aka G-Dragon is a Rock God and a creative genius or when I start to angst about the difficulty of dividing my heart between my faves as a VIP, a Blackjack and most recently an iKONIC. Don’t worry about not understanding now. Because you will.

Okay. So just wanted to put that out there.