I had to write tonight of course.


Not to make excuses for not writing before now but to personally mark this night. The last night of my thirties.


I don’t want to be lengthy or political or poetic or anything. I just need to say some personal things that I hope I  remember later.


My thirties – now that I look back on them – were surprisingly like a second adolescence. A lot of insecurities and doubts. A constant struggle with my self image and my inability to accept a life that really wasn’t how I imagined it would be while I was still in my real teens.


As tomorrow approaches along with my 40th year mark, I’m rethinking a few things.
These days I feel like if there were things I couldn’t accept about myself or my life these last 10 years – maybe it’s because I could stand to be more broad minded. And less judgmental. And maybe that’s something I can work on over the next ten years (granted I get them, of course).


On my 30th birthday I told everyone that would listen how unbothered I was to be leaving my 20s and how I was saying goodbye to uncertainties and hello to the new confident thirty something me. It was all bluffing of course.


I was terrified. I had no job, my then relationship had reached a stalemate and I was soon leaving the country I’d lived in for almost a decade to try my luck back home. I was made of fear and I was even more scared to acknowledge it.


If I had to pin point a difference between then and now I’d say at least now I get that fear comes with the territory. Now I can admit to it and that’s ok as long as I don’t necessarily give in to it.


Bluffing is ok too. It’s just one more way of trying to get from A to B. Sometimes I fake it till I make it or I don’t make it and then I try another way.


Other thoughts.


I have a little girl who will turn 5 this year and she’s amazing.




My hair has gone a bit silver in front and it’s actually pretty.


I found out this year that I have high blood pressure and that’s been the push I needed to start being more conscious of how I treat my body and mind every day.


Changing my life habits and making healthier ones – bruh…. such a battle and I lose more times than I win. But it’s a good battle and the few wins are worth every single loss so there’s that.


My life partner is my best friend. Even when we squabble. He’s been my safe place and I’ve needed one.


I really need to make more of an effort to spend time with my folks and siblings. For real, introvert or not, I need to do better.


My other battle – the battle with my self and my fear when it comes to writing – still rages which is good because fighting is better than dead.


But winning is nicest of all so over the next decade I’ll work on that too.


This wasn’t supposed to be long. I still surprise myself. I’m just getting to know myself.


So yeah… it’s Saturday 7/7/17, 9:27pm and I have a deadline I need to meet for Sunday so I’m going to stop here.


This 39 going on 40 moment was brought to you by my ever reliable mental gymnast friend, Procrastination.


*peace sign*


First of all, I always knew I wanted to write. I remember as far back as being 6 or 7 and wanting to be an “Author” because I loved books and so authors were my heroes and of course I wanted to be one. I wanted to make people feel the way books made me feel.

And that’s actually still true for me, it’s just that movies and TV got tangled in it somehow too.

Growing up in a strict household, movies were one of the few things we were allowed to do (until 8pm on weekdays and 10 on weekends). I watched a LOT of them; just musicals at first but in greater variety as I grew older and somewhere along the line – I fell for them. Big time.

I remember a time in my teenage years when I lived at Video Clubs and there wasn’t an A, B or C list actor I couldn’t put a name or at least part of a filmography to. I loved imagery. I loved acting and stories that could only be told visually – LOVED it. But I was never able to admit it to myself till I was already in University registered for a Bsc in Broadcast Communications (my unconscious halfway point).

My parents weren’t too pleased when after my sophomore year I changed to Communication in Video and Film but I was deliriously happy! At last I got to go to film history classes (I still have my David Cook text which I refused to sell though it’s an older edition) and I got to handle Bolex cameras and celluloid film! I spliced and taped with my own hands and learned the wondrous joys of editing… I loved it so much that I thought I might actually want to be a director instead of an author.

Unluckily (or luckily) for me, I didn’t quite have the temperament for it. It takes a different kind of artistry and patience and personal force be it loud or silent to sit on the canvas chair. I took a couple of passes at it and on top of having the wrong temperament I  found in the end and to my surprise that it didn’t give me the bone deep satisfaction I got from a manuscript (or even a post like this) completed to my satisfaction.

It was fortunate for me that I had double majored in creative writing as well and also that the Video/Film course gave me enough experience with scriptwriting that I could now think of stories in terms of that format as well. That was actually a very important thing.

Reading scripts and practicing writing them taught me how a medium affects the way a story can be told and how prose, poetry, stage, screen, music and even comic book writing each offer their own unique opportunities for building a narrative.

I’d known that I loved visual story telling but I’d believed I could only do it by directing (which by the way I still low key want to do properly at least once before I die). It was a revelation for me to realize that there was so much more to it. There was writing and all the stuff that gets decided in pre-production. There was also editing and all the stuff that goes down during post-production. All of them were important, creative  aspects of telling the story.

With screenwriting, I felt like I was eating my cake and having it. I finally had the tools I needed to make a film using my first love and base strength – writing!

I’ve been working on it ever since and I’ll talk in another post about the actual experience of getting into it professionally after I graduated and came home to Nigeria (cross fingers that I get to it!!!).

These days, one of my favourite aspects of screenwriting is dialogue because you have to be so much more sensitive about it than in prose fiction. In a script (in prose too actually) you don’t want unnatural dialogue jarring people out of the story – but when you sit down to write it, you find that the way people actually speak is a slippery and fascinating thing.

Like in prose, dialogue is  an important way to move your narrative along as well as give uniqueness and life to your characters. Unlike in prose, dialogue is the only other way you have apart from action to develop your character and move your narrative. But you can never use too much. This was a tough lesson for me to learn. In film, there is SO much more said in silences – and when characters do speak there are rhythms and patterns to it.

Spoken language is a lot more dynamic than the written word.

When you write dialogue you it’s not just about filling your character’s mouth with information. When I write dialogue I think about what my character needs to express in that moment… then I kind of listen for it.
That’s the best way I can describe it and it’s such a rush when you hear it or catch it; a distinct,  living character’s voice.

Have I ever mentioned how I do random dialogues in my head when I’m driving alone?

And sometimes voice them?


Anywho, it’s a craft I’m still learning but I’m grateful for the opportunities I get to practice which brings me to the other awesome part about screenwriting. Finally seeing what had previously only existed in the boundaries of your mind up on the screen.

Talk about a feel good moment.

If you have any questions for me about my personal experience writing for TV, I’ll be happy to answer! Just pop it in the comments!





Am I the slowest writer in the world?


I probably am.

And I have the receipts to make that claim but thankfully I also have too much of a sense of shame to share them with you.

Either way, today as we officially enter the era of Trump *shudders*, I thought I should probably get off my behind and let you all know what I’ve been doing instead of updating DYRM 🙂

  1. Being a Mom and (believe me I use this term very loosely as I am extremely bad at it) a house wife. My baby has become a little person of 3 going on 4 full of observations and questions, not all of which I’m even qualified to answer. I have learned to sometimes just say, “yeah, I really don’t know” and I think (hope) she respects that?  She has strong ideas and an independent mindset which means she never accepts anything I tell her at face value and has sometimes in fact re-educated me. She’s so cool, I don’t even know where she comes from. Anyway, there’s that.
  2. Traffic. That’s right, traffic. This is where I spend a good portion of my week. When I’m not suppressing rage, this is also when I get some of my best ideas that I will never remember after I get where I’m going. My other places my best ideas come to me include respectively – on the toilet, in the shower, standing in line at supermarkets and just before I fall asleep.
  3. Kpop Twitter. I am actually afraid to say how much time I spend here because it could probably get me committed but on the plus side I can answer almost any question you have on KPop; what it is, how to pronounce Psy (it’s Sah -y), What is Gangnam Style exactly, what is a G Dragon – let me be your Kpop friend!
  4. Writing! Ah ha! Bet you thought this wouldn’t be on the list! Understandable considering I haven’t been updating. But I have been writing, just not for myself. I’ve been writing for television which is something I used to do fairly often before I struck out on my own and started this blog. I do it to pay bills but also because it’s a bit of a challenge adapting my style to working with other writers in a team and also just working in the area of the Nigerian TV story. I can’t tell you much about it right now except that what I’m working on is a new show for a Cable network. It’s only just being casted so production hasn’t even started. I’ll spill once it starts to air!
  5. Thinking deeply about the goals I want to accomplish as a writer. Who do I want to be? What do I want to write? Who am I writing for? What characters and stories resonate with me the most? And for my current personal project, DYRM, where I want it to go.
  6. Reading. Always reading. Forever reading. On wattpad, on webtoons, from my packed iBooks library, from manga repositories, on Asian Fanfics and an Archive of our Own, the story consumption pauses but never, ever, quite stops. I’ve always said that before a writer, I am a bookworm.

And that’s the majority of it. But none of it changes the fact that I am a very, very, very slow writer and I am awfully sorry for it.

Thanks for your patience so far and I really hope to be picking up where we left off sooner rather than later.


Indigo Radio is on Wattpad!!

The platform invasion continues!

Now I have a station on Wattpad too so if you’re a part of that vibrant community, please drop by and show me love here!

And I found this ill art by (I believe) Sit Haiiro(SIT)… and mocked up a book cover for “I Am Abiku” which is the first story I’m re-publishing there!

I AM ABIKU cover

What do you think!?


There should have been a post today –

And I’m real sorry that there wasn’t! I’ve had to push forward the next instalment for #dyrm because I’m helping plan an event this week and it’s ended up taking up way more of my time than I expected it to 😦

Expect news of a posting schedule for both stories by next week as well as some light restructuring of the blog to make it easier to navigate!

Thank you so much for putting up with me while I try to get this right.

Your humbled writer,

Indigo Radio
Ps. As a way of saying sorry how about some lovely KPop? These teenage siblings are called Akdong Musician or AkMu for short and their genre is funk/jazz/folk.

They just released a half album (don’t ask I still don’t know) called “Spring” which is actually literally a breath of fresh air.

I like to use their title track “How People Move” to get me going on extra tough mornings.